MIEone's Boom Room

Friday, July 12, 2013

Joker 2113 (Part 3)

October 26, 2113
Joker was back at his hideout "...Batsy, GODDAMMIT BATS ANSWER ME!" he shouted into the walkie talkie. "Bats must be away from his vee-HIC-el..." He stressed the H sound in vehicle "...or he's in it and can't hear over the engine. Oh well, I’ll surprise him later at some point. I suppose I should have put a tracking device on him as well. CURSE YOU HINDSIGHT!" He grinned. Joker went along to envision his next plot.
Later in Batman’s Lair "Giancarlo C....Oh fuck this, I need a break." He looked up at a picture on the wall. "Great Grandpa Bruce, what a guy, left us a fortune and an enterprise... and a name that you can never hide from. *sigh* how did you do it? how did you manage to keep a personal life with all the reporters and paparazzi and such." He banged his head on the wall and the picture fell. " The hell is that?" There was a button behind the portrait. He pushed the button and a grandfather clock across the room slid apart from the wall. "Well well I guess there is more than one mystery to solve tonight..." He smiled for the first time in years at the thought of there being secrets in this house. Brad always loved a good mystery. He walked to the door and down a long winding staircase and found himself in a cave, but not just any cave "...THE BATCAVE!" He almost collapsed when he saw the original Batmobile's and the suits and memorabilia of villains past. He walked towards the computer dragging his index finger on everything he past. He went to turn on the computer to see if it still worked...all he could think was think now was " How did grandpa hide all this...”
A little while later Joker sat in his room pondering. "OK well any good super villain has a gang of expendable thugs so I suppose that’s' my next step..." He grinned at the thought of being an overlord with minions and such. "...now I suppose the next logical question is where do you get a gangs worth of miscreants when crime doesn't run the streets like a kid hopped up on a sack of Pixie Stix as it used to...hmmm...I KNOW!" and with that he left his hideout, but returned moments later to grab the Walkie talkie " Let’s give this another try..."
At that same time Brad had finished looking around the Batcave and had found the secret entrance and decided that it would be best to keep his Batmobile in there as well for safe keeping. He had finished checking the secret entrance and had figured a way to manipulate an old garage door opener to work on the same signal so he could get in and out quickly and quietly, so he went out to the Batmobile and uncovered it. As he was about to get in he heard a voice, "...BATSY! OOH I HATE YOU! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?! I HAD A GREAT IDEA AND YOU ARE RUINING IT! BAAATS!" Brad found the walkie under his wheel well and ripped it off its taped hinges. "Who is this?" Batman said into the Walkie. "Oh Bats you finally decided to join my chat party, well it's me again your unfriendly homicidal neighborhood Joker..." He cackled in-between speaking "...well anyway just wanted to let you know if you ever wanna just chat or anything you can always pick up this direct line and get through to me...I'll always be here for you Batsy...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Brad clicked off the walkie and continued to hide his Batmobile. "This may be useful later" He thought to himself and threw it in the backseat.
"Bats, BATS, BAAATS!, Dammit he hung up on me, that miscreant Son of a bitch." Joker hissed through jagged yellowed teeth. "oh well guess I’ll wait for him to come to me." He smiled a frightening yellow grin as he pulled his car over next to a juvenile detention center. "well if this Bat is anything like the comics he'll be furious that I enlisted kids, and more so..." He growled the next few words "....he won't beat on them so hard,.." Then in a high pitched almost singsong voice "....and if he does, well bonus for mee-hee! AHAHHAHAHA!" he got out of the car and approached a group of kids, no older than 15 or 16, hanging close to the fence that imprisoned them. "Hey kids wanna bust out of this dump?" The kids all looked at him with wishful, yet frightened eyes. None of them would dare get too close to the gate where this horrific clown was standing, menacingly grinning. "oh c'mon kiddies, Uncle Joker's not gonna harm you, I have a proposition for you all, and anyone else you wanna bring along." A tall slender and muscular European looking teen stepped up to the gate " I want out, what you offerin'?" Joker's eyes widened with joy and the prospect of his minions being so easy to obtain. "What’s your name son?" The kid said "My name is Bayne and I want out so how we gonna do it?" Joker said "seriously?, your name is bane?" Bayne eyed joker hard "Yeah what of it?!?" He Said through grinding teeth. "Oh nothing, just the irony in all this strike me as a bit too coincidental, but whatever, roll with the punches I always say, anyway, Well Bayne, here's the plan, first imma need you to gather as many associates as you can that are willing to commit crimes like never before, second ..."
Back at Wayne manor: "so how does all this work?" Bruce was standing in front of this massive computer terminal and couldn’t find the on button. he pressed every button, he checked every nook of the machine, nothing "Dammit I can’t get this friggin COMPUTER ON!!!!!" just as he said that the computer came to life. "Voice analysis, voice not recognized, patterns similar to owner, please place your finger on the printing pad to your lower left" a bright red fingerprint display lit up at his side, and brad placed his finger on it "OW!" he got pricked in the finger, "DNA analysis complete, Wayne DNA found, Welcome Mr. Wayne." "Uh, hello?..." Brad muttered. "Please have a seat Mr. Wayne while I update my database. Updating system, current date October 26 12:24 AM, loading video will" A loading screen appeared, when it was done loading a haggard old face appeared on the screen "Granpa Bruce?" "Hello descendant, if you are seeing this video I can only assume 2 things one you discovered my secret, and 2 crime is on the rise again, I programmed the computer to only play this video for someone of my lineage and only after accessing the police criminal database to ensure you have no criminal record, and that there was a need to even play this. That being said I’m sure you've figured out by now that I was the batman. Now you have a choice, you can tell the computer to shutdown and it will. you walk away and forget you ever saw this, or you can tell it to continue. If you tell it to continue it will monitor you forever, it will ensure that you use any gadgets in here for only good and if you use any of it for evil, it will shut down and send a distress signal to the police after subduing you. I will not tolerate anyone ruining the Wayne family name." Then the video paused and the computer voice came back on "Please make a selection, continue or shutdown?" Brad stood there for a moment, he thought about what he would do, he thought about how he was already doing this why not get some upgraded gadgets... "Continue" Bruce came back on "Good, I hope you made the right choice not only for yourself but for all of Gotham. Well let’s take a tour of the place if you will direct your attention to the autoscreen approaching you we can continue...." Brad look over at a piece of junk on wheels with a monitor on it where Bruce’s haggard old face was waiting to continue the tour.
"...so the clown said be by this wall at exactly 1am , so where the fuck is he?" "I don't know he just told me to gather you guys and be here now shut up and wait, what do you have to lose?" Bayne crossed his arms and leaned against the brick wall like Joker told him to. "its 12:58AM Bayne, where the fuck is he?" "I dunno, but Listen he very specifically said this wall, he stressed it lots I don’t think you should be over there." "Pfft what’s gonna happen is he gonna bust through the..."
BOOM!
"OH YEAH! HAHAHA I've always wanted to do that HAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Joker yelled as he busted through the wall in a school bus adjacent to where Bayne was standing. Bayne stay there unmoved, and unhurt. however his bullheaded associate was not in quite the same shape. The Alarm blared. "Hey Kiddos hop in ASAP, we need to make like a crack head and burn rubber...HAHHAHAHA! hey what happened to that guy he looks like humpty dumpty... threw up." Joker snickered and the seven remaining kids jumped in the bus and Joker kicked it in reverse rolling over 2 guards in the process. "GO AHEAD THROW EVERY LAST MAN AT ME! ILL JUST MAKE THEM ROAD PIZZA! Hey anyone else hungry? DAMN YOU PIGS NOW I WANT PIZZA....WITH BACON! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Joker screamed and laughed out the window, then in a very casual voice, almost as if none of this was even going on and they were simply having a drink at a bar joker turns to the children "So what’s everyone’s name? c'mon don’t be shy now better we die friends than strangers, um not that were GONNA DIE, but it is one of the possible outcomes....." Silence took over the bus until Bayne started pointing to each other teen very relaxed in the bus "That’s Oz, Deuce, Vic, Ed, Alucard and Krane, so now what do we do boss?" Jokers smile widened "Boss? I like the sound of that, well boys under your seats you will find some masks and a bunch of weapons, those pigs are giving chase so open the windows and have a blast...no pun intended...oh who am I kidding AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!" Joker, still driving like a madman, pulls onto a highway doing top speed in the bus. The teens all put on their clown masks except Bayne, he just threw on his sunglasses. they all grabbed various weapons and started firing out the windows. Bayne took some chains and secured himself between 2 aisle seats in the last row and kicked open the back doors of the bus. he then let loose flurries of grenades on the pursuing cop cars. "DIRECT HIT BAYNE MY BOY!" Joker screamed as several of the trailing cars exploded and crashed, then to himself he said, "I really like that boy I may have to make him my protégé....ohhooo good times ahead boy good times ahead, YOU HEAR THAT COPPERS GOOD TIMES AHEAD AND THERES FUCK ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! YOU HEAR ME! oh wait I guess it would be kinda hard to hear with all that windshield jammed all in your skull like that AHAHAHHAHAHA......"
A short while earlier:
"...and over here we have we have the Batsuits past present and future." Bruce’s floating video head rolled along announcing the suits like a museum curator." As you can see we have the originals without armor which were rendered useless almost immediately as the criminals of Gotham do not believe in the honor of fighting without guns, and then we get into the ones that have bullet proof armor, and then impenetrable armor. The impenetrable armor came to be needed with criminals like Killer Croc around who could literally bite a car in half. He tried to take a bite out of me more than once. Over here we have the Beyond suit with flight technology, enhanced strength and a number of other interesting abilities. This will be the handiest until you finish work on the prototype suit over here. I figured with the 'Beyond Technology' and a few enhancements..." An Alarm sounded, the computer paused Bruce's video, it then advised "Warning police chase along the Gotham River Drive Highway. Suspect Kidnapped several children in a school bus. Bus # 6913. Suspect is armed and dangerous, several officers down. Explosives in use..." Brad froze in place for a moment, snapped out of it and grabbed the nearest suit which happened to be the prototype suit, without even thinking. He jumped in the Batmobile and went. "I have taken the liberty of syncing myself to your vehicle to better assist you. Would you like to turn on autopilot?" Brad was astonished that his great grandfather had technology that was almost up to par with the current technology nearly a century ago. "Yes" He replied. While computer drove, he put on the suit. His cowl almost looked like what you would expect Nosferatu's skull to look like it even had fangs. there was no cape on this suit. It shone like motor oil in a puddle. There was a Tribal tattoo looking design on the chest. It was a Bat. "That's cool" Brad said to himself out loud. inside the cowl Computers voice spoke over speakers mounted slightly behind brad's ears. The eyes lit up and then immediately dimmed. the suit shone an iridescent glow. it was changing colors and adapting to his surroundings. he looked down and couldn’t see his legs anymore, then his hands disappeared from the steering wheel, he was invisible like a chameleon. "Cool" he muttered with a prideful smirk. in the upper left corner of his goggles he noticed "NRM" glowing fluorescent green. "computer define goggle option NRM." Computer responded " NRM, Normal Retina Mode. While in NRM you see the world as you would without filters except clearer..." Everything sounded clearer and louder even over Computer's digital voice. and she was right it looked crisper too. "...you may adjust focus to your optical liking." Brad thought he would like a sensor that detected threats approaching and highlight them. "Computer note highlight threats." He stated. "Noted" she replied. "Computer what are my optional filters?" Computer went into detail on several filters while auto piloting the Batmobile to the scene of the disturbance. "...Lastly there is THRM, Thermal Heat Recognition Mode, while in THRM. --BEEP-- Approaching disturbance. Target ahead on left" Computer automatically changed his display back to NRM. "I see him..."
Joker was swerving like a drunkard, not due to alcohol but just because he felt like it. He smashed into cars on both sides of the street like a ping pong ball. Inside the bus joker was finishing a joke "...so the king says 'KING KONGS BALLS I SAID PING PONG BALLS!' AHAHAHAHHAHAHA I Kill me, and anyone else I want for that matter, wait did I make that joke already? SHIT, need new material already. what’s this world coming too when the joker has to repeat jokes..." Joker paused on this thought for a sec. for just a split second it looked as though joker was seeing the severity of what he was doing, but then he was right back where he was a moment ago. "HEY BOSS!..." Bayne Yelled from the rear "...I think we has a prollem." Joker took his eyes off the road and directed them to his side mirror. “Nothing on my side..." He said looking into the driver’s side mirror, he then turned his attention to the passenger side mirror, "...well what do we have here? OH LOOK BOYS IT’S THE BAT! YAY! AHAHAHHAHAA, well we're not fully prepared for him yet, so get rid of him." Bayne detached himself from his "seatbelt" rig of chains. he looked under all the seats and collected all the explosives he found. he closed the back door and went to work.
"Computer pull up behind the bus and open the hatch. Computer initiate THRM. I don’t like that they closed the doors." The Batmobile positioned itself behind the bus and the hatch opened. As soon as it did the back doors burst open again and a volley of random explosives came spewing out of the back. "COMPUTER CLOSE HATCH!" The hatch closed and a fireworks display of explosions ensued. The windshield of the Batmobile shattered. The hood came off, if not for the reinforced steel surrounding the cockpit Batman would have been done. the Batmobile shifted and crashed. "Computer you there?" "I am here sir" Computer replied. "Computer are you still able to control the Batmobile?" Batman groaned. "Yes" her staticy computer voice affirmed. "Take me home please" The Batmobile sputtered and wobbled but it made its way back to the Batcave.
"Well that was fun, we're almost there boys. Good job losing the bat back there, Bayne my boy I like your style." They pulled up to a Deserted Craka-Cola factory. " Here we are. I know it looks like shit form the outside but the inside is...well the insides fucked up too but home is where the heart is and all that jazz.." They pulled the school bus around back and got out Joker led them through a hole in the wall that led to a corridor and over to some decrepit stairs. "Up this way boys, so you'll each have your own room do with it as you please. ok so we've established Bayne is the muscle of the group, who's got the brains?" Bayne replied, "Vic and Krane are the nerds.." Vic stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Bayne, "Who the fuck you calling a Nerd ya mutant son of a bitch? I'm madd smart but I ain't no fuckin Nerd." Joker stepped between them, "Boys, Boys Boys, no need to fight you have your freedom, a roof over your head, and a new job, let’s try to be more positive ok? Cause if not I may have to rip out someone’s eyes with a chopstick..." He just stood there and smiled at both of them " Good then it’s settled, anywho, so Vic, Krane, are either of you 2 any good at chemistry?" "I am" Krane said. Krane was a scrawny looking Goth kid. He wasn’t the shortest but definitely the smallest of the group. They started walking again. "Wonderful, Krane this is your room then" Joker pointed to a room on the left, " It has any chemicals, beakers, tubes, whatsits, and thingys you might need, redecorate anyway you want just make use of that shit, I want gasses, poisons biological anything and so forth, go. Now who's the best at hand to hand, and Bayne brute strength does not make a great fighter so don't even raise your hand." Joker stopped and about faced. the troop stopped "That would be me" Deuce stepped out of the shadows He raised his head. "WHOA What the fuck happened to you? You get into a fight with an envious cyclops or something?" Joker mused. Deuce was 5ft 5in just a tad shorter than Joker. He had a serious scar going from his upper lip around his nose through his eye and ending at his hairline. Deuce got right up in Jokers face and looked at him with his one good eye "No actually we got into a knife fight with our uncle and that fat fuck tackled us and taught us a lesson. When we woke up we were all patched up and in Juvy. Anything else boss?" that last "Boss" sounded very cynical. Joker looked at him hard for a moment then let his menacing smile take over. "We? care to explain?" Joker questioned "No" Deuce responded "Right then. Anyway I want you to come up with a training schedule. I want all the boys to be experts at hand to hand combat. or at least as good as you HAHHA Just kidding, anyway your training room is over there and you my friend have the room closest to it. go. NEXT! Ok Vic you’re the other brain of the group, you any good with building shit, weapons in particular?" Vic smiled for the first time since joker met him "Actually that is my specialty." Vic was almost as tall as Bayne with grayish skin and a bald head, he wore an Ice blue hat with a V in the center and red sunglasses. He was equally as cut as Bayne, but not quite as strong. "Superb, then this is your room, I want you to build me a gun capable of using the gasses, poisons etc. that Krane will be making. you should have all the supplies you need but if not I guess we'll go shopping. go. Next on the agenda. Making Bats Crazy, who's good at riddles?..."
"Computer are any of these Batmobiles still functional?" Brad inquired. "Yes they all are" Brad was pretty badly hurt but not incapacitated, he was more than able to go out and investigate. "Computer, I need some medical supplies, bandages, ointment, and etcetera. Also whichever Batmobile is the most durable, I want that one prepped and ready to go, tonight is not over." Computer sent a medical drone over to Brad to aid him in his bodily repair. While he was tending to that she fueled and prepped the Batmobile. "Computer are you capable of building things" Brad asked. Computer responded "Yes anything I have the ability to build nearly anything as long as the drones are able to lift the materials." Brad was pleased with this. "Good, can you replicate this Batsuit and make some additions?" "Yes, what alterations would you like?" Brad wrapped a bandage around his abdomen as he spoke "First off I would like Nano-bots in the suit, I would also like a set implanted in myself so that I can communicate with you and the suit without making noise, second some sort of blast protection, that’s twice that son of a bitch used explosives on me..." Brad winced as he put the final touches on his bandages with the assistance of the drone. "I wonder what his game is, he said something about me making him and he's been quite the nuisance recently..."on this thought Brad remembered the walkie talkie in the remains of the backseat of the Batmobile. He found it. Still intact. He switched it on and pressed the button "Joker are you there?"
"Well Bayne my boy, I would say today was one hell of a success" Joker raised a glass of champagne and toasted with Bayne. Bayne raised his glass but did not seem as enthusiastic as Joker. "Whatsa Matta Lad?" Bayne took a sip from his glass "Today was a good day, I got my freedom and something to do with myself for once, but now I’m out I have that old itch..." Joker looked at him puzzled. Bayne continued "...when me and the boys were waiting for you we realized that none of us has had pussy in quite some time being locked up in that fucking shithole...." They were interrupted by a staticy voice coming from across the room "Joker are you there?" It was Batman! Joker was ecstatic, he skipped across the room like a school girl. He picked up the Walkie talkie "BATS! so good to hear from you, it feels like it’s been so long, so how’s the family?" Batman was not amused " OK asshole, bottom line what do you want? I can't let you terrorize this city anymore, what will it take to make you cut this shit out?" Joker smiled so wide he popped one of his self-sutured stitches, but he was so giddy he didn't even feel the blood trickling down his cheek "Well Bats this is the thing, I won't stop, I’m having too much fun, you see when I was just a child I caught a fly, I pulled its wings off and kept it, more of an experiment than a pet but I guess that’s 2 sides of the same coin, anywho I noticed something, the fly changed, it adapted, I fed it and kept it in a glass jar, and after a few weeks it was walking around like it never even had wings, well this sparked an interesting question, would a human adapt as well and continue living? the only problem is we don't have wings so I have to pull off arms or legs and they always bleed to death..."Batman interrupted him again "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Joker simply replied " Nothing, I just like talking with you, no homo AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Batman clicked off his Walkie talkie. "DAMMIT I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT! no respect. Oh well, now Bayne, back to your request, I think we can do something about that, gather the crew, tonight we plan, and tomorrow we're going on our first kidnapping...OW!, but first I have to restitch this" Joker finally noticed he was bleeding. As Joker was stitching himself up Vic came into the room. "Joker, I have something for the crew. Enjoy." He put down a box with watches in it and started to walk away. Joker was puzzled. He finished his thread and called after Vic. "Hey what the hell are these things?" Vic continued walking "2 way radio watches so we can all keep in contact." He turned the corner.
Batman hopped in the Batmobile "Computer, take me back to the detention center, I have to investigate and find this maniac before he hurts anyone else." computer replied "Destination Gotham Juvenile detention Center set, ETA 13.4 minutes, would you like to set auto pilot?" Batman looked perturbed "yes. Computer, we really need to work on your vocal commands." The Batmobile took off towards the detention center. When he arrived it was a mess. they had already transferred the remaining children to a new facility. The whole side of Building D was rubble. Batman hid the Batmobile in the woods not too far from the facility. He got out and crept along the security fence perimeter until he found a dark spot and cut a hole in the fence. Batman entered the detention center grounds and stealthily made his way to Building D. Now to find clues. "Computer, DTCV mode." Batman's vision turned blue. All the bodily fluids around him turned Bright Yellow and their tint changed depending on what fluid it was. Even the remnants of fluids showed lightly. Fingerprints were everywhere highlighted in Neon Green. He could see purplish silhouettes in the distance, those must be people. "What’s this?...."

Joker 2113 (PART 2)

October 24 2113, Present day, Crime on the rise in the past few years old prisons have been re-opened, and starting to fill. Jason has been in and out of detention facilities until he turned 18, since then he managed to stay somewhat clean, still being evil as possible, just being smarter about it and not getting caught. His encounter with this new Batman when he was about 17 gave him an idea, and for it to work he had to stay out of trouble long enough for the Bat to forget him. Jason never actually believed there was a new bat, but being that he saw him first hand, he felt he needed to make things more like he had read about. This batman was nothing more than a kid, close to his age. He was no superman; he barely had the gadgets to keep up with any super villains, lucky for him there were only common thugs which were easily scared by his dark knight outfit. Jason was not so easily scared; he did however pretend he was. He served his time in juvy until his eighteenth birthday, lucky for him they caught him without makeup on. His Alias was safe. When he got out he spent the next 2 years cleaning up his act as to stay off the bats radar. But with Halloween approaching it was time for his plan to start. His days of quietly killing his neighbors pets was about to end "BIGGER AND BATTER THINGS", he would say to himself, “are on the way.” He decided that batman could never be batman without a nemesis, so Jason decided he would be it. To start this sick scheme Jason decided he needed to look like the joker and not like himself. First he broke into a chem lab at his old high school and stole some scalpels and hydrochloric acid. Then he went to the local tattoo place. He asked the tattooist to tattoo his face to look like a psychotic clown. The guy gave him a funny look but did it. And a great job he did. To pay him for this wondrous tattoo, Jason slit his throat as to not make him suffer. With this terrifying new tattoo and his green hair Jason decided to go back to his room and put on the finishing touches. Originally he decided that he was going to stick true to the jokers story and throw acid into his own face, but when he got the tattoo he decided against it realizing how dumb that was, an accident is one thing yet to do it to yourself would be stupid not crazy. So instead he decided to widen his smile a little, with the scalpel. Instead of using the acid on himself he decided to give his new nemesis a present.
October 25 2113, Jason....Joker, woke up this morning feeling froggy, so he went to a hardware store and got all his needed supplies, but he got them the way he thought the joker would.
BOOM!
He blew a hole in the side wall with some explosives he learned to make off the internet out of household products. He makes his grand entrance. "Why hello all, Uncle Joker here just blowing threw for some supplies hahahaha ha ha HAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHA!! Oh I kill me...and anyone else I feel like for really." Joker pulls a card from his sleeve and slit the nearest person’s throat. "AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Hey anyone wanna see a card trick?...well another one? hahaha heh heh. It’s called Houdini card" Silence "really no takers? Ok fine this ones on the house but then I really must gather my things and get going" He peers around the room and fixates on a thirteen year old boy. "You there lad, come here, you will be my assistant" The boy stands there petrified, his father grasps him firmly by the shoulder. "Ok I’ve had enough" said the boy’s father, "I don’t know who you are clown, but you will not hurt my son"
"Relax bubba, I wouldn’t hurt a child, even criminals have rules, now bring him forth, oh and before you give me any more lip..." Joker pulls out a massive hand cannon "...I’m not asking so much as telling"
"Daddy?"
"Go son, he won’t hurt you if he tries I’ll tear him apart"
Joker smirks at this, "well c’mon son, I haven’t all day, that’s it, that’s it, like a good boy step up over here" Joker produces a small flat object that resembles a miniature card "ok chip, here’s how it goes, you swallow this..." The boy looks at his dad, his father nods him on, the boy takes the object and swallows it, and joker produces a deck of cards"...good good, now pick a card any card from this deck" The boy chooses a card, an eerie joker looks back at him from the palm of his hand and joker makes his way over to the magnet section and pulls the biggest one he can find. Joker presses a button on his lapel and the boy doubles over in agony dropping the card, joker then comes back and puts the magnet to the boy’s chest and slowly slides it down towards his navel. The father rushes the mock stage and joker points the gun at him. "Back up jocko, this is all part of the trick. “Joker continues down until he feels a pull on the magnet. As he does a huge grin comes across his face and he jerks back as hard as he can. The magnet pulls a full sized card straight from the kid’s stomach. "Was your card a joker? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" The kid lie there bleeding out and joker takes the deck and throws them at the father revealing they were all jokers. Joker then walks up to the father and puts the gun to his head "Hey bubba, how’s it feel to watch your son die helplessly? Wait I got a better question," he starts giggling "which hurts more watching your son die while you’re helpless to do anything, or...." Joker takes a few steps back and pulls the trigger, a big bang flag comes out the end "...or knowing that you were afraid of nothing and could have stopped this at any time? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!"
"You son of a bitch I’ll kill you!" The father lunges at the still laughing joker, joker dodged the attack and slit his throat with another card he had up his sleeve in a single fluid motion. "Well then done with pleasure onto business" Joker produces another gun "oh and kiddies..." He fires a shot into the ceiling "...this one is real, everyone face down on the ground, AHAHAHHAHAHA" Joker begins whistling and shopping around the hardware store taking a cart full of supplies and he leaves. Then as everyone starts getting up off the ground he pops back in "Sorry everyone I’m new at this whole villain thing, gimme your jewels watches, money and etc." He holds out a sack and walks around the hardware store collecting everyone’s personal effects, then he approaches the store clerk, gets the money from the register and shoots the clerk in the knee, and a random customer in the temple. "He KNEEded that like a HOLE in the HEAD AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!" He exits still cackling. On the way out he places a jack in the box on the ground. As joker screeched away in his vehicle a string wound around the crank turned it in frenzy and the jack popped out with a live grenade in hand, pin pulled.
Boom!
The second explosion demolished the tiny hardware store and buried everyone in it. "Blast these syndicate radio stations, this music is crap" The new hit "Izeberu-Koku" by Japanese sensation "Pinku No Neko" or "Pink Kitty" as an American translation, was on the radio. "Fuck this imma listen to some oldies" he pulled his Iput out of his middle console and plugged it into the music dash. "Car Music Find: Come to Daddy by Aphex Twin"
"Song found" the cars mechanic voice replied. "Play album" the song started to play "Now that's more like it!" Just then a set of flashing lights appeared behind him. "Uh-oh, it’s the fuzz, AHAHHAHAHAA, well guess we'll have to learn to deal with that." he said to himself. He stepped on the pedal and turned his music up. Joker peeled around a corner a smashed an old ladies poodle to pieces narrowly missing the old lady " Damn, I missed that old bag." He screeched to a stop and threw it into reverse. The cops behind him swerved out of the way, one hit a dumpster and got wedged into an alley way. The other swerved and smashed into a wall. "Nicely done if I do say so myself, I’ll have to remember that for next time" he cut the wheel and spun the vehicle. "Round 2 granny, AHAHAHAHAHHAHAA....." he aimed the car and sped off in the direction of the old lady, WHUMP, she easily went under the tires, joker continued to laugh. Mortimer Street, his hide out was only a few more miles. "This is going to be easier than I thought, hell I feel like Simon Phoenix in Demolition man. Heh heh heh" The rest of the ride was a breeze.
Later that evening, Joker was in his "lab", "..Ok so you mix this with that, ..and then, oh shit! Is that supposed to fizzle?..Then we pour this in here..and connect this piece.." Joker continued to talk to himself while he put together an acid filled contraption, his present for batman. " AND WE'RE DONE!" He stood victorious proud of his "gift". It fell apart. " AH HELL!" the acid spilled out and started eating away at his carpet. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit.." he went to his kitchen drawer and pulled out a pair of metal salad tongs. He picked up the carpet and threw it out the window before it got to his hardwood floor. "Blast this I know how to do this. screw chemicals I want EXPLOSIONS!" He threw on his deep purple trench coat, and put his matching fedora over his neon green hair and walked out the door, "...and I know exactly how to get them and the Bat in the same place at the same time ...hehehheheheHEHHEHE AHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!" the door closed behind him but his nightmarish cackle could still be heard throughout the halls. He gets to his car and starts it up. "CAR Music Find: Folder: Jungle" "Folder Found" "Randomize play" The music started "Well that's ironic, he he" it was "Spazz" by N.E.R.D.
Joker arrived at the Army base surplus store. He turned his stereo down as to not attract the army grunts, "Tarantula" by DJHype was whispering from his speakers. "Gotta love the oldies" he said aloud with a reminiscent sigh. "Ahhh hahha, well on to the goods." He bounced to the beat as he strolled over to the front door. He produced a vial from his pocket and proceeded to melt off the doorknob. "Well that didn't work, how the hell am I gonna open it now, CURSE YOU TELEVISION!" He waved his fist at the night sky. "Well onto Plan B." He searched the sides of the store and found an entrance in the alley. He backed his car up to the entrance facing the opposing street from which he drove in. "This is convenient." he got out of his car climbed over it to get through the narrow alley and was back in front of the store. He found a nearby Hummer and broke the window with a hammer he had in his pocket. He got in and hotwired it. "Remember kiddies always wear your seatbelt AHAHAHHAHAHA!" He floored it into the storefront. The airbag deployed, and he was still laughing. "Natures caress airbags, just cause your cars a wreck doesn't mean your face has to be HAHAHAHAHHA!" he unbuckled himself and got to work. Joker set off to the explosives and gathered what he could. HE put grenades in explosive putty and lined the place as much as he could without destroying his escape route. Joker then grabbed lots of other explosives for himself and loaded his car up. HE then went back and awaited the police and/or the batman. He didn't have to wait long.
POW!
He got elbowed in the back of the head. He eerily began to laugh, "hehehehe" and it escalated louder "HEHEHEHHEAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Batman backed up a few steps. Joker's laugh subsided a little "...ahahaheheh, I’ve been waiting for you Batsy..." Joker stands, Batman doesn't move, he waits for his opportunity."..let's get properly introduced, I as you can see..." Joker steps into the lighted area , "... am THE JOKER!" Joker Put his hand out to give Batman a handshake, Batman quickly caught notice of the hand buzzer joker had. It didn't look like a normal buzzer. Batman stays cold faced to the joker's hideous wounds and clown face tattoo. Joker put his hand down and started pacing and continues talking "Well fuck you too Bats, way to start a relationship...anyway ya see I read lots of comic books when I was a kid, which I have to assume you did too, and well frankly, I feel that you cannot be complete without a nemesis, namely... ME!" He stops pacing, points his thumbs inward at himself and looks Batman in his eyes " You know Batsy you have one hell of a POKER face hahahah..." He pulls a knife from his sleeve as he says this and jabs at Batman's face. Batman ducks and pushes Joker across the room. "Ow, I must say though..." He says, and then almost whispers "..you are a quick one." He puts the knife back in his sleeve. "Fair nuff Bats I see I must practice my hand to hand before I try to take you on. Well till then I must bid you adieu, anyway on a final note I will be harming and at any given chance TOTURING people and I just want you to know it's all because of and for you, you made me Bats! Sleep on that awhile." He puts his hand in his pocket and the wall next to batman explodes.
BOOM!
"Dammit wrong button" Joker said. He pressed another in his pocket before the bat could recover from the first explosion.
BOOM!
The wall directly behind batman exploded. "OOH-whoo! DIRECT HIT!" The Joker screamed, then in a high pitched voice "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Joker ran to the alley. He found the Batmobile parked behind him and strapped a walkie talkie to the inside of the wheel well. He darted to his car and sped off. on the way he pressed the rest of the buttons and brought the building down. "Well that went well, I hope I didn't hurt him too bad, wait a second. I left the music on and bats, if he is any good, had to have bugged my car. oooh what fun. Time for a scavenger hunt." Joker pulled over and searched the car, "AHA There you are!" he had found a little bat shaped tracking device "Just like in the comics." he said. He saw a stray cat over by the dumpster in the alley he was pulled next to. "Here kitty kitty" the cat walked right up to him. He picked it up and pet it then tightened his grip around its throat. He stabbed the cat behind the shoulder with the tracking device burying it deep enough to not fall out but not deep enough to immobilize or kill the cat. The cat tried to his and scratch but Jokers grip was too tight, it was clear he had held an animal like this before. He let the cat go and it ran off, hobbling but still quickly. Joker got back in his car. "That should keep him busy awhile. Car Music Find: Band: Korn", "Band found", "Play all: start track: Blind"
Batman awoke in rubble, he was pretty hurt but not down for the count. He dug himself out and hobbled to his Batmobile and tracked the Joker on his radar. "This Joker is driving very erratic" he thought. He set off to track him... Batman Spent half the rest of the night tracking joker. When joker finally stopped batman found the alley where Joker supposedly was but there was nothing there but a dead cat. Batman gave up for the night and decided to head home and put this puzzle together. Something the Joker said bothered him. "...you made me Bats! Sleep on that awhile." Batman had to wonder if he was speaking from the comic book side of things or if he had really met this Joker before and possibly "created" him as he said. There was investigating to be done. Batman arrived at his home headquarters as he was still figuring out how to get the "Batcave" built discreetly. He slipped into his backyard and covered the Batmobile with his pseudo-bush camouflage. He went inside and pulled off his cape and cowl, to reveal he was mutli-billionaire entrepreneur Braddox Wayne. He logged into his Mega-PC and pulled up his records of thugs he's handed over to the police since he became batman. "10,879 FILES FOUND! SHIT! Well better get started, A.....Arnolds, Jericho M. Grand theft auto & manslaughter..." and he began on his list.

Joker 2113

Well awhile ago i wrote a book (was supposed to be a graphic novel but my artist had some life issues) anyway in light of my having music to put up i figured to keep you guys entertained imma post teh story. Any way credit to DC for teh Batman franchise in which gave me the ideas all liscences and everything are owned and bklah blah blah by DC Comics i am not selling this it is purley fan fiction etc etc i hope thats a good enough disclaimer, so without further delay here it goes.... ~MIEone

*Amendmant ... apparently blogspot wont let me drop it all in one shot so here's part 1 i'll put up another installment at a later time

Joker 2113
J. Gonzalez © 2011

The year was 2095; Tales of a long forgotten hero have been resurfacing around Gotham. Yet no hero is insight. They speak of a man, a knight, a legend, whom close to a century ago was patrolling the streets of Gotham making sure its citizens were safe from the nightmarish thugs that also dwelled in the city's dark corners. Since then, heroes have given up on capes and cowls. The last to go was superman back in 2063, only a few years back. By the time he went all crime had ceased, as had all super humans and heroes of the cape and cowl generation. In his last few years Clark Kent actually revealed his secret identity and ran for president. Under his guidance people built a society of love and peace. Cops and laws were only around to give new generations rules to maintain the peace. However, with the turn of the century coming up, and the loss of the last great hero, crime was uprising once again. In the face of this re-emerging threat a man decided to don a cape and cowl like the heroes of days past, this man became the new batman.
Lower east side Gotham, August 13, 2101
8 year old Jason Gomez was reading some old comics he found of his father’s when he came across an old batman comic, and could not put it down, he was sad at the end when the joker got locked up. He liked the Joker; he almost instantly connected with him. From that day forth Jason would terrorize his neighborhood, though on a way smaller scale, just like the joker. Missus Hendrix's new litter of kittens mysteriously disappeared and were later found hanging from a tree skinned alive with a big red smile on them painted in lipstick. Jason’s dad never looked at him the same after that, it was almost like he knew, but he never said anything. Mr. Danbath woke up one morning to find a water balloon precariously placed over his head. He chuckled until he heard the pop. Someone shot a BB through his window and popped the balloon right into his face. The balloon was filled with bleach, Mr. Danbath is now blind. This was the closest thing to crime people had seen in ages. As he got older he got worse, But smarter. He dyed his hair green like the joker and would often wear clown makeup to school and other functions, however that was his disguise. He would never let anyone see him with the makeup, and he almost always wore a hat. At first it was just because his father hated clowns but then he realized it was better to keep that as his alternate identity because unlike Joker, Jason had a dad that would beat him into submission for breaking the law. To cover his hair Jason also had hairspray for when he had to go to school. It would wash out at night and he could have his green hair and his hat.
When Jason was 12 he found a diary in the attic. At first he saw it as just random scribbles and rants and threw it to the side not paying it much mind, but as he dug further something drew him back to the journal.
"Batsy almost did it today. I was so close, he almost broke his sacred rule, instead he locked me in this hole again, I suppose I will have to harm a few children before I push him over the edge..."
The entry was dated Sept 3, 2003 and signed "Memoires from Arkham..." with crude smiley face next to it. He skipped a few pages and started randomly reading.

"January 1, 2004, 'Harley really cut me up today; she wanted to have a romantic evening. She starts the night off by bringing me into a room full of dead rose petals, with 'H&J' in hearts drawn in blood all over the room, and here I was thinking she was getting all mushy on me, she is truly a woman after my own heart, i must say the decapitated hookers above the bed were a lovely touch'..."
He read on and realized that this was actually the real Joker's Journal. Who knew the joker kept a journal. He kept the journal and left the attic. "Why was it in dad's trunk in the attic?" This thought left a foul taste in his mouth but the blood would taste worse so he didn't ask that day.
A few years later he did question his father about the journal. He got slapped so hard he hit the ground. "This is bullshit" he thought, and decided to start investigating because a secret was on the edge of discovery. At the library he looked up old articles on the Joker, and Harley. Turns out the Joker had a kid with her. This child was taken away once when Joker got locked up. This child then had 2 daughters, and they went on to have children, and so were born a line of hell spawn each secretly keeping dark lives. Upon checking the family lineage, he saw that they had almost all been convicted of some sort of crime or another. Even the ones who didn't had been found to have committed crimes after they died. President Kent's decision to have everyone’s fingerprints and DNA taken upon arrival at the morgue was good for solving many cold cases and family lineage. He read on until it came to halt in 2076, when the last known descendant of joker was discovered upon death. "David Gomez?" he lingered on that thought. He found a picture that looked familiar but it wasn't anyone he had ever met. Then again he didn't know of any of his family other than his dad. Dad said mom died at birth and he moved over here from out west. Back to the computer. He quietly read aloud to himself:
"David Ignacio Gomez died of natural causes on July 17, 2076 in Reno Nevada. Upon arrival to morgue was Fingerprinted and DNA sampled. No known relatives. Police Record, let's see, prior to death, two tickets for excessive speeding. Post mortem, kidnapping, rape sodomy, manslaughter, homicide, dismemberMENT! OH MY GOD! He was a serial killer on the low." He moved on to a newspaper article and continued, "David Gomez was involved in a series of unsolved kidnappings where all the victims were found sexually assaulted and mutilated with big smiles carved in their faces." He thought to himself, "DAD DID KNOW!" He realized he really must be the Joker's descendant. "But how? I mean how do you have a rape baby that carries your last name, that's impossible." Jason decided to do a little detective work. He typed in his mother’s name and read aloud "Marina Antoinette Lynsford-Gomez ...Missing?...Last known where abouts Lower East Side Gotham City leaving work at Gotham City Coffee house, Husband, Francisco Andre Gomez reported she was missing on September 13, 2093..."He read on to himself for a bit. He was beyond curious as to why his father would report her missing only a few weeks after he was born and tell Jason she died at birth. Since his father was the only one who could fully answer these questions, he decided to ask. He printed out the picture of David, folded it and put it in his pocket.
"Dad where do you go at night?"
"My night job you know that."
"I don't believe you" he paused "I mean you make enough money at your day job to afford this place and all we got, so Why have a second job at night?"
"You really wanna know?" A very creepy smile overtook his father’s face. "Come with me tonight" He said, then in a raspy growl "I'll show ya..."
Jason was skeptical and a little scared but this was his dad so he stepped out the door. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in his neck and then blackness. When he awoke he was in a small dark space and his dad was there with a naked woman who was tied up in bondage gear and a sock duct taped in her mouth to keep her quiet. Her Eyes were wide. She was scared. So was Jason. "Dad?"
"This is what I do at night son, ya see Debbie here was out hiking a few weeks ago, she got "lost" in the woods"... He put his fingers up in mock quotes and smirked, Jason remembered seeing her picture on the news. "Dad, people are looking for her. You can't do this, we have laws, we have rules. You will be found out!"
"I haven't yet and I been doing this for ages" He smiled, "Guess what really happened to someone’s mommy?" He burst out into a maniacal laugh. Jason had always blamed himself for his mother’s death, which he thought his father did too. He always thought his mother would have saved him when his father would have an outburst and slap him around. "But how? Why? Why keep me?"
“I loved your mother to be honest, she was the perfect one, when I kidnapped her she actually liked it. She would giggle when I cut her, and she would orgasm when I had my way with her. I one day decided to let her go and cut this shit out. You were born. After that she changed. She wanted to be mother of the frickin year, so I had to remind her that I was still in charge whether she was tied up or not. Well things got a lil outta hand and I cut too deep" He smirks again, "It's kinda like a potato chip son, I cut her a lil and a lil turned into a lot and then she was dead. I buried her somewhere over there before I cemented and built this place over it" he pointed to a corner. Jason snapped, he sprung on his father; he grabbed him up and broke his arm. He pinned him to the ground and beat on him with his fists with the fury of a mother bear protecting her cub. When his father was about an ounce of blood away from being beaten to death Jason pulled his father’s face close to his own and produced the picture from his pocket, he shoved it in his father’s face. It was mostly covered in blood but the face could still be made out. "WHO IS THIS?" he was breathing hard, "I know you can’t see too well so I’ll tell you his name. David FUCKIN Gomez, now I’ll ask again WHO THE FUCK IS HE?" His father smiled through a broken jaw with jagged broken teeth and blood dripping everywhere, and mumbled "My dad, he did kind of the same thing only your grandmother was his partner; they just never found her DNA. She taught me all about clean up, and I would have shown you, but I guess you will find out on your own. Hey kid remember one thing though," He coughed some blood onto his already stained shirt, "you can't spell slaughter without LAUGHTER...Heh heh" the laugh trailed off, the smile left his face as did that last ounce of blood. Jason stood covered in his father's blood. He looked at the girl, and untaped her mouth. "Oh my god thank you, thank you, he has been beating and raping me for days, maybe weeks, i lost track of time..." She began sobbing "thank you so much for saving me..." Jason cut her off, “Now I see why he had you gagged, you talk too much." Debbie was shocked and went silent "See toots, the only reason I took the tape off was cause I wanna hear you scream..." He got that same smirk his dad had just minutes earlier. He went outside to his dad's car and got a pack of smokes, and siphoned most of the gas out of the tank into a bucket. He poured a huge gulp down what was left of his father’s throat, a good portion on Debbie, a thin trail around the area leading up to Debbie, and a final splash on the wall. He lit a cigarette and left it in the ashtray which he threw on the bed. He then lit another smoke and said to the still terrified and in silently shock Debbie "Good thing crime is still low, they don't usually check for arson anymore, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" That same maniacal laugh "Tootles Deb, I’ll be listening till your screaming stops, gimme a good show will ya?." He blew her a kiss and threw his cigarette into the splash on the wall igniting it and stepped outside giggling. He really did wait for her to stop screaming before he left. This was his rebirth, Jason knew with his first 2 kills he was no longer pretending...Jason was now the new Joker of Gotham City.