Friday, July 12, 2013

Joker 2113 (PART 2)

October 24 2113, Present day, Crime on the rise in the past few years old prisons have been re-opened, and starting to fill. Jason has been in and out of detention facilities until he turned 18, since then he managed to stay somewhat clean, still being evil as possible, just being smarter about it and not getting caught. His encounter with this new Batman when he was about 17 gave him an idea, and for it to work he had to stay out of trouble long enough for the Bat to forget him. Jason never actually believed there was a new bat, but being that he saw him first hand, he felt he needed to make things more like he had read about. This batman was nothing more than a kid, close to his age. He was no superman; he barely had the gadgets to keep up with any super villains, lucky for him there were only common thugs which were easily scared by his dark knight outfit. Jason was not so easily scared; he did however pretend he was. He served his time in juvy until his eighteenth birthday, lucky for him they caught him without makeup on. His Alias was safe. When he got out he spent the next 2 years cleaning up his act as to stay off the bats radar. But with Halloween approaching it was time for his plan to start. His days of quietly killing his neighbors pets was about to end "BIGGER AND BATTER THINGS", he would say to himself, “are on the way.” He decided that batman could never be batman without a nemesis, so Jason decided he would be it. To start this sick scheme Jason decided he needed to look like the joker and not like himself. First he broke into a chem lab at his old high school and stole some scalpels and hydrochloric acid. Then he went to the local tattoo place. He asked the tattooist to tattoo his face to look like a psychotic clown. The guy gave him a funny look but did it. And a great job he did. To pay him for this wondrous tattoo, Jason slit his throat as to not make him suffer. With this terrifying new tattoo and his green hair Jason decided to go back to his room and put on the finishing touches. Originally he decided that he was going to stick true to the jokers story and throw  acid into his own face, but when he got the tattoo he decided against it realizing how dumb that was, an accident is one thing yet to do it to yourself would be stupid not crazy. So instead he decided to widen his smile a little, with the scalpel. Instead of using the acid on himself he decided to give his new nemesis a present.
October 25 2113, Jason....Joker, woke up this morning feeling froggy, so he went to a hardware store and got all his needed supplies, but he got them the way he thought the joker would.
 He blew a hole in the side wall with some explosives he learned to make off the internet out of household products. He makes his grand entrance. "Why hello all, Uncle Joker here just blowing threw for some supplies hahahaha ha ha HAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHA!! Oh I kill me...and anyone else I feel like for really." Joker pulls a card from his sleeve and slit the nearest person’s throat. "AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Hey anyone wanna see a card trick?...well another one? hahaha heh heh. It’s called Houdini card" Silence "really no takers? Ok fine this ones on the house but then I really must gather my things and get going" He peers around the room and fixates on a thirteen year old boy. "You there lad, come here, you will be my assistant" The boy stands there petrified, his father grasps him firmly by the shoulder. "Ok I’ve had enough" said the boy’s father, "I don’t know who you are clown, but you will not hurt my son"
"Relax bubba, I wouldn’t hurt a child, even criminals have rules, now bring him forth, oh and before you give me any more lip..." Joker pulls out a massive hand cannon "...I’m not asking so much as telling"
"Go son, he won’t hurt you if he tries I’ll tear him apart"
Joker smirks at this, "well c’mon son, I haven’t all day, that’s it, that’s it, like a good boy step up over here" Joker produces a small flat object that resembles a miniature card "ok chip, here’s how it goes, you swallow this..." The boy looks at his dad, his father nods him on, the boy takes the object and swallows it, and joker produces a deck of cards"...good good, now pick a  card any card from this deck" The boy chooses a card, an eerie joker looks back at him from the palm of his hand and joker makes his way over to the  magnet section and pulls the biggest one he can find. Joker presses a button on his lapel and the boy doubles over in agony dropping the card, joker then comes back and puts the magnet to the boy’s chest and slowly slides it down towards his navel. The father rushes the mock stage and joker points the gun at him. "Back up jocko, this is all part of the trick. “Joker continues down until he feels a pull on the magnet. As he does a huge grin comes across his face and he jerks back as hard as he can. The magnet pulls a full sized card straight from the kid’s stomach. "Was your card a joker? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" The kid lie there bleeding out and joker takes the deck and throws them at the father revealing they were all jokers. Joker then walks up to the father and puts the gun to his head "Hey bubba, how’s it feel to watch your son die helplessly? Wait I got a better question," he starts giggling "which hurts more watching your son die while you’re helpless to do anything, or...." Joker takes a few steps back and pulls the trigger,  a big bang flag comes out the end  "...or knowing that you were afraid of nothing and could have stopped this at any time? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!"
"You son of a bitch I’ll kill you!"  The father lunges at the still laughing joker, joker dodged the attack and slit his throat with another card he had up his sleeve in a single fluid motion. "Well then done with pleasure onto business" Joker produces another gun "oh and kiddies..." He fires a shot into the ceiling "...this one is real, everyone face down on the ground, AHAHAHHAHAHA" Joker begins whistling and shopping around  the hardware store taking a cart full of supplies and he leaves. Then as everyone starts getting up off the ground he pops back in "Sorry everyone I’m new at this whole villain thing, gimme your jewels watches, money and etc." He holds out a sack and walks around the hardware store collecting everyone’s personal effects, then he approaches the store clerk, gets the money from the register and shoots the clerk in the knee, and a random customer in the temple. "He KNEEded that like a HOLE in the HEAD AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!"  He exits still cackling. On the way out he places a jack in the box on the ground. As joker screeched away in his vehicle a string wound around the crank turned it in frenzy and the jack popped out with a live grenade in hand, pin pulled.
The second explosion demolished the tiny hardware store and buried everyone in it. "Blast these syndicate radio stations, this music is crap" The new hit "Izeberu-Koku" by Japanese sensation "Pinku No Neko" or "Pink Kitty" as an American  translation, was on the radio. "Fuck this imma listen to some oldies" he pulled his Iput out of his middle console and plugged it into the music dash. "Car Music Find: Come to Daddy by Aphex Twin" 
"Song found" the cars mechanic voice replied. "Play album" the song started to play "Now that's more like it!" Just then a set of flashing lights appeared behind him. "Uh-oh, it’s the fuzz, AHAHHAHAHAA, well guess we'll have to learn to deal with that." he said to himself. He stepped on the pedal and turned his music up. Joker peeled around a corner a smashed an old ladies poodle to pieces narrowly missing the old lady " Damn, I missed that old bag." He screeched to a stop and threw it into reverse. The cops behind him swerved out of the way, one hit a dumpster and got wedged into an alley way. The other swerved and smashed into a wall. "Nicely done if I do say so myself, I’ll have to remember that for next time" he cut the wheel and spun the vehicle. "Round 2 granny, AHAHAHAHAHHAHAA....." he aimed the car and sped off in the direction of the old lady, WHUMP, she easily went under the tires, joker continued to laugh. Mortimer Street, his hide out was only a few more miles. "This is going to be easier than I thought, hell I feel like Simon Phoenix in Demolition man. Heh heh heh" The rest of the ride was a breeze.
Later that evening, Joker was in his "lab", "..Ok so you mix this with that, ..and then, oh shit! Is that supposed to fizzle?..Then we pour this in here..and connect this piece.." Joker continued to talk to himself while he put together an acid filled contraption, his present for batman. " AND WE'RE DONE!" He stood victorious proud of his "gift". It fell apart. " AH HELL!" the acid spilled out and started eating away at his carpet. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit.." he went to his kitchen drawer and pulled out a pair of metal salad tongs. He picked up the carpet and threw it out the window before it got to his hardwood floor. "Blast this I know how to do this. screw chemicals I want EXPLOSIONS!" He threw on his deep purple trench coat, and put his matching fedora over his neon green hair and walked out the door, "...and I know exactly how to get them and the Bat in the same place at the same time ...hehehheheheHEHHEHE AHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!" the door closed behind him but his nightmarish cackle could still be heard throughout the halls. He gets to his car and starts it up. "CAR Music Find: Folder: Jungle" "Folder Found" "Randomize play" The music started "Well that's ironic, he he" it was "Spazz" by N.E.R.D.
Joker arrived at the Army base surplus store. He turned his stereo down as to not attract the army grunts, "Tarantula" by DJHype was whispering from his speakers. "Gotta love the oldies" he said aloud with a reminiscent sigh. "Ahhh hahha, well on to the goods." He bounced to the beat as he strolled over to the front door. He produced a vial from his pocket and proceeded to melt off the doorknob. "Well that didn't work, how the hell am I gonna open it now, CURSE YOU TELEVISION!" He waved his fist at the night sky. "Well onto Plan B." He searched the sides of the store and found an entrance in the alley. He backed his car up to the entrance facing the opposing street from which he drove in. "This is convenient." he got out of his car climbed over it to get through the narrow alley and was back in front of the store. He found a nearby Hummer and broke the window with a hammer he had in his pocket. He got in and hotwired it. "Remember kiddies always wear your seatbelt AHAHAHHAHAHA!" He floored it into the storefront. The airbag deployed, and he was still laughing. "Natures caress airbags, just cause your cars a wreck doesn't mean your face has to be HAHAHAHAHHA!" he unbuckled himself and got to work. Joker set off to the explosives  and gathered what he could. HE put grenades in explosive putty and lined the place as much as he could without destroying his escape route. Joker then grabbed lots of other explosives for himself and loaded his car up. HE then went back and awaited the police and/or the batman. He didn't have to wait long.
He got elbowed in the back of the head. He eerily began to laugh, "hehehehe" and it escalated louder "HEHEHEHHEAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Batman backed up a few steps. Joker's laugh subsided a little "...ahahaheheh, I’ve been  waiting for you Batsy..." Joker stands, Batman doesn't move, he waits for his opportunity."..let's get properly introduced, I as you can see..." Joker steps into the lighted area , "... am THE JOKER!" Joker Put his hand out to give Batman a handshake, Batman quickly caught notice of the hand buzzer joker had. It didn't look like a normal buzzer. Batman stays cold faced to the joker's hideous wounds and clown face tattoo. Joker put his hand down and started pacing and continues talking "Well fuck you too Bats, way to start a relationship...anyway ya see I read lots of comic books when I was a kid, which I have to assume you did too, and well frankly,  I feel that you cannot be complete without a nemesis, namely... ME!"  He stops pacing, points his thumbs inward at himself and looks Batman in his eyes " You know Batsy you have one hell of a POKER face hahahah..."  He pulls a knife from his sleeve as he says this and jabs at Batman's face. Batman ducks and pushes Joker across the room. "Ow, I must say though..." He says, and then almost whispers " are a quick one." He puts the knife back in his sleeve. "Fair nuff Bats I see I must practice my hand to hand before I try to take you on. Well till then I must bid you adieu, anyway on a final note I will be harming and at any given chance TOTURING people and I just want you to know it's all because of and for you, you made me Bats! Sleep on that awhile." He puts his hand in his pocket and the wall next to batman explodes.
"Dammit wrong button" Joker said. He pressed another in his pocket before the bat could recover from the first explosion.
The wall directly behind batman exploded. "OOH-whoo! DIRECT HIT!" The Joker screamed, then in a high pitched voice "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Joker ran to the alley. He found the Batmobile parked behind him and strapped a walkie talkie to the inside of the wheel well. He darted to his car and sped off. on the way he pressed the rest of the buttons and brought the building down. "Well that went well, I hope I didn't hurt him too bad, wait a second. I left the music on and bats, if he is any good, had to have bugged my car. oooh what fun. Time for a scavenger hunt."  Joker pulled over and searched the car, "AHA There you are!" he had found a little bat shaped tracking device "Just like in the comics." he said. He saw a stray cat over by the dumpster in the alley he was pulled next to. "Here kitty kitty" the cat walked right up to him. He picked it up and pet it then tightened his grip around its throat. He stabbed the cat behind the shoulder with the tracking device burying it deep enough to not fall out but not deep enough to immobilize or kill the cat. The cat tried to his and scratch but Jokers grip was too tight, it was clear he had held an animal like this before. He let the cat go and it ran off, hobbling but still quickly. Joker got back in his car. "That should keep him busy awhile. Car Music Find: Band: Korn", "Band found", "Play all: start track: Blind"
Batman awoke in rubble, he was pretty hurt but not down for the count. He dug himself out and hobbled to his Batmobile and tracked the Joker on his radar. "This Joker is driving very erratic" he thought. He set off to track him... Batman Spent half the rest of the night tracking joker. When joker finally stopped batman found the alley where Joker supposedly was but there was nothing there but a dead cat. Batman gave up for the night and decided to head home and put this puzzle together. Something the Joker said bothered him. " made me Bats! Sleep on that awhile." Batman had to wonder if he was speaking from the comic book side of things or if he had really met this Joker before and possibly "created" him as he said. There was investigating to be done. Batman arrived at his home headquarters as he was still figuring out how to get the "Batcave" built discreetly. He slipped into his backyard and covered the Batmobile with his pseudo-bush camouflage. He went inside and  pulled off his cape and cowl, to reveal he was mutli-billionaire entrepreneur Braddox Wayne. He logged into his Mega-PC and pulled up his records of thugs he's handed over to the police since he became batman. "10,879 FILES FOUND! SHIT! Well better get started, A.....Arnolds, Jericho M. Grand theft auto & manslaughter..." and he began on his list.

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