Friday, July 12, 2013

Joker 2113 (Part 3)

October 26, 2113
Joker was back at his hideout "...Batsy, GODDAMMIT BATS ANSWER ME!" he shouted into the walkie talkie. "Bats must be away from his vee-HIC-el..." He stressed the H sound in vehicle "...or he's in it and can't hear over the engine. Oh well, I’ll surprise him later at some point. I suppose I should have put a tracking device on him as well. CURSE YOU HINDSIGHT!" He grinned. Joker went along to envision his next plot.
Later in Batman’s Lair "Giancarlo C....Oh fuck this, I need a break." He looked up at a picture on the wall. "Great Grandpa Bruce, what a guy, left us a fortune and an enterprise... and a name that you can never hide from. *sigh* how did you do it? how did you manage to keep a personal life with all the reporters and paparazzi and such." He banged his head on the wall and the picture fell. " The hell is that?" There was a button behind the portrait. He pushed the button and a grandfather clock across the room slid apart from the wall. "Well well I guess there is more than one mystery to solve tonight..." He smiled for the first time in years at the thought of there being secrets in this house. Brad always loved a good mystery. He walked to the door and down a long winding staircase and found himself in a cave, but not just any cave "...THE BATCAVE!" He almost collapsed when he saw the original Batmobile's and the suits and memorabilia of villains past. He walked towards the computer dragging his index finger on everything he past.  He went to turn on the computer to see if it still worked...all he could think was think now was " How did grandpa hide all this...”
A little while later Joker sat in his room pondering. "OK well any good super villain has a gang of expendable thugs so I suppose that’s' my next step..." He grinned at the thought of being an overlord with minions and such. " I suppose  the next logical question is where do you get a gangs worth of miscreants when crime doesn't run the streets like a kid hopped up on a sack of Pixie Stix as it used to...hmmm...I KNOW!" and with that he left his hideout, but returned moments later to grab the Walkie talkie " Let’s give this another try..."
At that same time Brad had finished looking around the Batcave and had found the secret entrance and decided that it would be best to keep his Batmobile in there as well for safe keeping. He had finished checking the secret entrance and had figured a way to manipulate an old garage door opener to work on the same signal so he could get in and out quickly and quietly, so he went out  to the Batmobile and uncovered it. As he was about to get in he heard a voice, "...BATSY! OOH I HATE YOU! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?! I HAD A GREAT IDEA AND YOU ARE RUINING IT! BAAATS!"  Brad found the walkie under his wheel well and ripped it off its taped hinges. "Who is this?" Batman said into the Walkie. "Oh Bats you finally decided to join my chat party, well it's me again your unfriendly homicidal neighborhood Joker..." He cackled in-between speaking "...well anyway just wanted to let you know if you ever wanna just chat or anything you can always pick up this direct line and get through to me...I'll always be here for you Batsy...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Brad clicked off the walkie and continued to hide his Batmobile. "This may be useful later" He thought to himself and threw it in the backseat.
"Bats, BATS, BAAATS!, Dammit he hung up on me, that miscreant Son of a bitch." Joker hissed through jagged yellowed teeth. "oh well guess I’ll wait for him to come to me." He smiled a frightening yellow grin as he pulled his car over next to a juvenile detention center. "well if this Bat is anything like the comics he'll be furious that I enlisted kids, and more so..." He growled the next few words "....he won't beat on them so hard,.." Then in a high pitched almost singsong voice "....and if he does, well bonus for mee-hee! AHAHHAHAHA!" he got out of the car and approached a group of kids, no older than  15 or 16, hanging close to the fence that imprisoned them. "Hey kids wanna bust out of this dump?" The kids all looked at him with wishful, yet frightened eyes. None of them would dare get too close to the gate where this horrific clown was standing, menacingly grinning. "oh c'mon kiddies, Uncle Joker's not gonna harm you, I have a proposition for you all, and anyone else you wanna bring along." A tall slender and muscular European looking teen stepped up to the gate " I want out, what you offerin'?" Joker's eyes widened with joy and the prospect of his minions being so easy to obtain. "What’s your name son?" The kid said "My name is Bayne and I want out so how we gonna do it?" Joker said "seriously?, your name is bane?" Bayne eyed joker hard "Yeah what of it?!?" He Said through grinding teeth. "Oh nothing, just the irony in all this strike me as a bit too coincidental, but whatever, roll with the punches I always say, anyway, Well Bayne, here's the plan, first imma need you to gather as many associates as you can that are willing to commit crimes like never before, second ..."
Back at Wayne manor: "so how does all this work?" Bruce was standing in front of this massive computer terminal and couldn’t find the on button. he pressed every button, he checked every nook of the machine, nothing "Dammit I can’t get this friggin COMPUTER ON!!!!!" just as he said that the computer came to life. "Voice analysis, voice not recognized, patterns similar to owner, please place your finger on the printing pad to your lower left" a bright red fingerprint display lit up at his side, and brad placed his finger on it "OW!" he got pricked in the finger, "DNA analysis complete, Wayne DNA found, Welcome Mr. Wayne." "Uh, hello?..." Brad muttered. "Please have a seat Mr. Wayne while I update my database. Updating system, current date October 26 12:24 AM, loading video will" A loading screen appeared, when it was done loading a haggard old face appeared on the screen "Granpa Bruce?" "Hello descendant, if you are seeing this video I can only assume 2 things one you discovered my secret, and 2 crime is on the rise again, I programmed the computer to only play this video for someone of my lineage and only after accessing the police criminal database to ensure you have no criminal record, and that there was a need to even play this. That being said I’m sure you've figured out by now that I was the batman. Now you have a choice, you can tell the computer to shutdown and it will. you walk away and forget you ever saw this, or you can tell it to continue. If you tell it to continue it will monitor you forever, it will ensure that you use any gadgets in here for only good and if you use any of it for evil, it will shut down and send a distress signal to the police after subduing you. I will not tolerate anyone ruining the Wayne family name." Then the video paused and the computer voice came back on "Please make a selection, continue or shutdown?" Brad stood there for a moment, he thought about what he would do, he thought about how he was already doing this why not get some upgraded gadgets... "Continue" Bruce came back on "Good, I hope you made the right choice not only for yourself but for all of Gotham. Well let’s take a tour of the place if you will direct your attention to the autoscreen approaching you we can continue...." Brad look over at a piece of junk on wheels with a monitor on it where Bruce’s haggard old face was waiting to continue the tour.
" the clown said be by this wall at exactly 1am , so where the fuck is he?" "I don't know he just told me to gather you guys and be here now shut up and wait, what do you have to lose?" Bayne crossed his arms and leaned against the brick wall like Joker told him to. "its 12:58AM Bayne, where the fuck is he?" "I dunno, but Listen he very specifically said this wall, he stressed it lots I don’t think you should be over there." "Pfft what’s gonna happen is he gonna bust through the..."
"OH YEAH! HAHAHA I've always wanted to do that HAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Joker yelled as he  busted through the wall in a school bus adjacent to where Bayne was standing. Bayne stay there unmoved, and unhurt. however his bullheaded associate was not in quite the same shape. The Alarm blared. "Hey Kiddos hop in ASAP, we need to make like a crack head and burn rubber...HAHHAHAHA! hey what happened to that guy he looks like humpty dumpty... threw up." Joker snickered and the seven remaining kids jumped in the bus and Joker kicked it in reverse rolling over 2 guards in the process. "GO AHEAD THROW EVERY LAST MAN AT ME! ILL JUST MAKE THEM ROAD PIZZA! Hey anyone else hungry? DAMN YOU PIGS NOW I WANT PIZZA....WITH BACON! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Joker screamed and laughed out the window, then in a very casual voice, almost as if none of this was even going on and they were simply having a drink at a bar joker turns to the children "So what’s everyone’s name? c'mon don’t be shy now better we die  friends than strangers, um not that were GONNA DIE, but it  is one of the possible outcomes....." Silence took over the bus until Bayne started pointing to each other teen very relaxed in the bus "That’s Oz, Deuce, Vic, Ed, Alucard and Krane, so now what do we do boss?" Jokers smile widened "Boss? I like the sound of that, well boys under your seats you will find some masks and a bunch of weapons, those pigs are giving chase so open the windows and have a pun intended...oh who am I kidding AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!" Joker, still driving like a madman, pulls onto a highway doing top speed in the bus. The teens all put on their clown masks except Bayne, he just threw on his sunglasses. they all grabbed various weapons and started firing out the windows. Bayne took some chains and secured himself between 2 aisle seats in the last row and kicked open the back doors of the bus. he then let loose flurries of grenades on the pursuing cop cars. "DIRECT HIT BAYNE MY BOY!" Joker screamed as several of the trailing cars exploded and crashed, then to himself he said, "I really like that boy I may have to make him my protégé....ohhooo good times ahead boy good times ahead, YOU HEAR THAT COPPERS GOOD TIMES AHEAD AND THERES FUCK ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! YOU HEAR ME! oh wait I guess it would be kinda hard to hear with all that windshield jammed all in your skull like that AHAHAHHAHAHA......"
A short while earlier:
"...and over here we have we have the Batsuits past present and future." Bruce’s floating video head rolled along announcing the suits like a museum curator." As you can see we have the originals without armor which were rendered useless almost immediately as the criminals of Gotham do not believe in the honor of fighting without guns, and then we get into the ones that have bullet proof armor, and then impenetrable armor. The impenetrable armor came to be needed with criminals like Killer Croc around who could literally bite a car in half. He tried to take a bite out of me more than once. Over here we have the Beyond suit with flight technology, enhanced strength and a number of other interesting abilities. This will be the handiest until you finish work on the prototype suit over here. I figured with the 'Beyond Technology' and a few enhancements..." An Alarm sounded, the computer paused Bruce's video, it then advised "Warning police chase along the Gotham River Drive Highway. Suspect Kidnapped several children in a school bus. Bus # 6913. Suspect is armed and dangerous, several officers down. Explosives in use..." Brad froze in place for a moment, snapped out of it and grabbed the nearest suit which happened to be the prototype suit, without even thinking. He jumped in the Batmobile and went. "I have taken the liberty of syncing myself to your vehicle to better assist you. Would you like to turn on autopilot?" Brad was astonished that his great grandfather had technology that was almost up to par with the  current technology nearly a century ago. "Yes" He replied. While computer drove, he put on the suit. His cowl almost looked like what you would expect Nosferatu's skull to look like it even had fangs. there was no cape on this suit.  It shone like motor oil in a puddle. There was a Tribal tattoo looking design on the chest. It was a Bat. "That's cool" Brad said to himself out loud. inside the cowl Computers voice spoke over speakers mounted slightly behind brad's ears. The eyes lit up and then immediately dimmed. the suit shone an iridescent glow. it was changing colors and adapting to his surroundings. he looked down and couldn’t see his legs anymore, then his hands disappeared from the steering wheel, he was invisible like a chameleon. "Cool" he muttered with a prideful smirk. in the upper left corner of his goggles he noticed "NRM" glowing fluorescent green. "computer define goggle option NRM." Computer responded " NRM, Normal Retina Mode. While in NRM you see the world as you would without filters except clearer..." Everything sounded clearer and louder even over Computer's digital voice. and she was right it looked crisper too. " may adjust focus to your optical liking." Brad thought he would like a sensor that detected threats approaching and highlight them. "Computer note highlight threats." He stated. "Noted" she replied. "Computer what are my optional filters?" Computer went into detail on several filters while auto piloting the Batmobile to the scene of the disturbance. "...Lastly there is THRM, Thermal Heat Recognition Mode, while in THRM. --BEEP-- Approaching disturbance. Target ahead on left" Computer automatically changed his display back to NRM. "I see him..."
Joker was swerving like a drunkard, not due to alcohol but just because he felt like it. He smashed into cars on both sides of the street like a ping pong ball. Inside the bus joker was finishing a joke " the king says 'KING KONGS BALLS I SAID PING PONG BALLS!' AHAHAHAHHAHAHA I Kill me, and anyone else I want for that matter, wait did I make that joke already? SHIT, need new material already. what’s this world coming too when the joker has to repeat jokes..." Joker paused on this thought for a sec. for just a split second it looked as though joker was seeing the severity of what he was doing, but then he was right back where he was a moment ago. "HEY BOSS!..." Bayne Yelled from the rear "...I think we has a prollem." Joker took his eyes off the road and directed them to his side mirror. “Nothing on my side..." He said looking into the driver’s side mirror, he then turned his attention to the passenger side mirror, "...well what do we have here? OH LOOK BOYS IT’S THE BAT! YAY! AHAHAHHAHAA, well we're not fully prepared for him yet, so get rid of him." Bayne detached himself from his "seatbelt" rig of chains. he looked under all the seats and collected all the explosives he found. he closed the back door and went to work.
"Computer pull up behind the bus and open the hatch. Computer initiate THRM. I don’t like that they closed the doors." The Batmobile positioned itself behind the bus and the hatch opened. As soon as it did the back doors burst open again and a volley of random explosives came spewing out of the back. "COMPUTER CLOSE HATCH!" The hatch closed and a fireworks display of explosions ensued. The windshield of the Batmobile shattered. The hood came off, if not for the reinforced steel surrounding the cockpit Batman would have been done. the Batmobile shifted and crashed. "Computer you there?" "I am here sir"  Computer replied. "Computer are you still able to control the Batmobile?" Batman groaned. "Yes" her staticy computer voice affirmed. "Take me home please" The Batmobile sputtered and wobbled but it made its way back to the Batcave.
"Well that was fun, we're almost there boys. Good job losing the bat back there, Bayne my boy I like your style." They pulled up to a Deserted Craka-Cola factory. " Here we are. I know it looks like shit form the outside but the inside is...well the insides fucked up too but home is where the heart is and all  that jazz.." They pulled the school bus around back and got out Joker led them through a hole in the wall that led to a corridor and over to some decrepit stairs. "Up this way boys, so you'll each have your own room do with it as you please. ok so we've established Bayne is the muscle of the group, who's got the brains?" Bayne replied, "Vic and Krane are the nerds.." Vic stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Bayne, "Who the fuck you calling a Nerd ya mutant son of a bitch? I'm madd smart but I ain't no fuckin Nerd." Joker stepped between them, "Boys, Boys Boys, no need to fight you have your freedom, a roof over your head, and a new job, let’s try to be more positive ok? Cause if not I may have to rip out someone’s eyes with a chopstick..." He just stood there and smiled at both of them " Good then it’s settled, anywho, so Vic, Krane, are either of you 2 any good at chemistry?" "I am" Krane said. Krane was a scrawny looking Goth kid. He wasn’t the shortest but definitely the smallest of the group. They started walking again. "Wonderful, Krane this is your room then" Joker pointed to a room on the left, " It has any chemicals, beakers, tubes, whatsits, and thingys you might need, redecorate anyway you want just make use of that shit, I want gasses, poisons biological anything and so forth, go. Now who's the best at hand to hand, and Bayne brute strength does not make a great fighter so don't even raise your hand." Joker stopped and about faced. the troop stopped "That would be me" Deuce stepped out of the shadows He raised his head. "WHOA What the fuck happened to you? You get into a fight with an envious cyclops or something?" Joker mused. Deuce was 5ft 5in just a tad shorter than Joker. He had a serious scar going from his upper lip around his nose through his eye and ending at his hairline.  Deuce got right up in Jokers face and looked at him with his one good eye "No actually we got into a knife fight with our uncle and that fat fuck tackled us and taught us a lesson. When we woke up we were all patched up and in Juvy. Anything else boss?" that last "Boss" sounded very cynical. Joker looked at him hard for a moment then let his menacing smile take over. "We? care to explain?" Joker questioned "No" Deuce responded "Right then. Anyway I want you to come up with a training schedule. I want all the boys to be experts at hand to hand combat. or at least as good as you HAHHA Just kidding, anyway your training room is over there and you my friend have the room closest to it. go. NEXT! Ok Vic you’re the other brain of the group, you any good with building shit, weapons in particular?" Vic smiled for the first time since joker met him "Actually that is my specialty." Vic was almost as tall as Bayne with grayish skin and a bald head, he wore an Ice blue hat with a V in the center and red sunglasses. He was equally as cut as Bayne, but not quite as strong. "Superb, then this is your room, I want you to build me a gun capable of using the gasses, poisons etc. that Krane will be making. you should have all the supplies you need but if not I guess we'll go shopping. go. Next on the agenda. Making Bats Crazy, who's good at riddles?..."
"Computer are any of these Batmobiles still functional?" Brad inquired. "Yes they all are" Brad was pretty badly hurt but not incapacitated, he was more than able to go out and investigate. "Computer, I need some medical supplies, bandages, ointment, and etcetera. Also whichever Batmobile is the most durable, I want that one prepped and ready to go, tonight is not over." Computer sent a medical drone over to Brad to aid him in his bodily repair. While he was tending to that she fueled and prepped the Batmobile. "Computer are you capable of building things" Brad asked. Computer responded "Yes anything I have the ability to build nearly anything as long as the drones are able to lift the materials." Brad was pleased with this. "Good, can you replicate this Batsuit and make some additions?" "Yes, what alterations would you like?" Brad wrapped a bandage around his abdomen as he spoke "First off I would like Nano-bots in the suit, I would also like a set implanted in myself so that I can communicate with you and the suit without making noise, second some sort of blast protection, that’s twice that son of a bitch used explosives on me..." Brad winced as he put the final touches on his bandages with the assistance of the drone. "I wonder what his game is, he said something about me making him and he's been quite the nuisance recently..."on this thought Brad remembered the walkie talkie in the remains of the backseat of the Batmobile. He found it. Still intact. He switched it on and pressed the button "Joker are you there?"
"Well Bayne my boy, I would say today was one hell of a success" Joker raised a glass of champagne and toasted with Bayne. Bayne raised his glass but did not seem as enthusiastic as Joker. "Whatsa Matta Lad?" Bayne took a sip from his glass "Today was a good day, I got my freedom and something to do with myself for once, but now I’m out I have that old itch..." Joker looked at him puzzled. Bayne continued "...when me and the boys were waiting for you we realized that none of us has had pussy in quite some time being locked up in that fucking shithole...." They were interrupted by a staticy voice coming from across the room "Joker are you there?" It was Batman! Joker was ecstatic, he skipped across the room like a school girl. He picked up the Walkie talkie "BATS! so good to hear from you, it feels like it’s been so long, so how’s the family?" Batman was not amused " OK asshole, bottom line what do you want? I can't let you terrorize this city anymore, what will it take to make you cut this shit out?" Joker smiled so wide he popped one of his self-sutured stitches, but he was so giddy he didn't even feel the blood trickling down his cheek "Well Bats this is the thing, I won't stop, I’m having too much fun, you see when I was just a child I caught a fly, I pulled its wings off and kept it, more of an experiment than a pet but I guess that’s 2 sides of the same coin, anywho I noticed something, the fly changed, it adapted, I fed it and kept it in a glass jar, and after a few weeks it was walking around like it never even had wings, well this sparked an interesting question, would a human adapt as well and continue living? the only problem is we don't have wings so I have to pull off arms or legs and they always bleed to death..."Batman interrupted him again "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Joker simply replied " Nothing, I just like talking with you, no homo AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Batman clicked off his Walkie talkie. "DAMMIT I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT! no respect. Oh well, now Bayne, back to your request, I think we can do something about that, gather the crew, tonight we plan, and tomorrow we're going on our first kidnapping...OW!, but first I have to restitch this" Joker finally noticed he was bleeding. As Joker was stitching himself up Vic came into the room. "Joker, I have something for the crew. Enjoy." He put down a box with watches in it and started to walk away. Joker was puzzled. He finished his thread and called after Vic. "Hey what the hell are these things?" Vic continued walking "2 way radio watches so we can all keep in contact." He turned the corner.
Batman hopped in the Batmobile "Computer, take me back to the detention center, I have to investigate and find this maniac before he hurts anyone else." computer replied "Destination Gotham Juvenile detention Center set, ETA 13.4 minutes, would you like to set auto pilot?" Batman looked perturbed "yes. Computer, we really need to work on your vocal commands." The Batmobile took off towards the detention center. When he arrived it was  a mess. they had already transferred the remaining children to a  new facility. The whole side of Building D was rubble. Batman hid the Batmobile in the woods not too far from the facility. He got out and crept along the security fence perimeter until he found a dark spot and cut a hole in the fence. Batman entered the detention center grounds and stealthily made his way to Building D. Now to find clues. "Computer, DTCV mode." Batman's  vision turned blue. All the bodily fluids around him turned Bright Yellow and their tint changed depending on what fluid it was. Even the remnants of fluids showed lightly. Fingerprints were everywhere highlighted in Neon Green. He could see purplish silhouettes in the distance, those must be people. "What’s this?...."

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